Premonition

I had a dream last night... and when I woke up, I felt heartbroken.  Ha, I have only had that feeling once or twice in the past, yet here it was again.  A fist squeezing something in my chest.  Tears welling up in my eyes.  I like to think of myself as a person with no regrets, but I think one is beginning to reveal itself and making itself at home deep within me.  Time will not step back, even if just a little bit, and things will move forwards--  In a few months time, this will probably become a minor thing that I can wave away with my hand.  But right now, I will only be able to wonder...  It's a little unsettling.

It was a wake up call, literally. :P  Whatever happened made me open my eyes and gasp a little, but after thinking about it through Chinese class (haha, couldn't concentrate and probably sounded really dumb today!), it helped me sort out what I want and what I'm looking for.  Words and displays shouldn't sway my thoughts and feelings so easily, and I should be able to step back to fully assess what's going on.  I need myself again.

It's time to go back.